The Woes of Random Encounters
by Anime-Angel-Ash
Summary: The innocent looking ones are always the most dangerous, unfortunately. Wardrobe theme challenge.


A/N: Well, here you are readers: After a discussion with a friend about how best to go about the 'wardrobe' theme in an LJ community I belong to and a statement made on a message board I frequent, you get this writer's attempt at intelligent humor. Please enjoy, nostalgia or no, and kindly review (concrit is very much appreciated, by the way).

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Over the course of Yuna's pilgrimage, she and her guardians had grown accustomed to encountering some fairly odd creatures from time to time. Rabid, swirly-eyed coyotes; tough, fungus covered barbutas; rough and tumble gigases; and of course the occasional Malboro. After weeks of this, the party came to assume that they could find nothing that would surprise them. However, a trip along the Moonflow did a fine job of proving them wrong.

"…Is that what I think it is?" asked a rather bewildered Tidus, indicating the enemy with a point of the Brotherhood.

"I don't know what you're thinking," Rikku responded, leaning over and tilting her head, "but it kind of looks like a wardrobe to me."

Sure enough, before them stood a not-so-intimidating looking oak wardrobe, all scratches and rust and broken bits. It was a simple affair; three drawers and a cabinet atop them, where a decent amount of the left door had been ripped asunder by some aggravated fiend. From what they could see, it was perfectly ordinary, its only unique trait being the fact that it stood in the middle of the road.

Turning to each other for some sort of explanation and finding none, the active party—consisting of Yuna, Tidus, and Rikku—puzzled over how to handle the situation. It seemed harmless enough, though most tricky fiends shared that particular trait.

"Well, it is just a box," Rikku pointed out, her fingers twitching too spastically to suggest a coincidence. "Might as well get what we can out of it before we split, right?"

"I guess…" Yuna answered skeptically, though the Al Bhed hardly needed any sort of consent. Even before Yuna spoke, Rikku was already waltzing over to the mystifying piece of furniture, intent on relieving it of whatever valuable objects it contained.

Meanwhile, the less-than-confident summoner decided that a Scan spell would be the best thing to quell her hesitance. After a few intricate hand motions, she paused, waiting for the information the scan would unearth. However, when the numbers and symbols appeared, the discovery was far from pleasant.

"Rikku!" she shrieked urgently. "Don't touch th-" Unfortunately, her cry came too late. Already, Rikku had opened one of the drawers and was examining a strength sphere that had been stored within.

"What's the matter Yunie?" She asked innocently, tucking the sphere away in one of her many pockets. As she did, the wardrobe began to shake, slowly drawing each party member's eyes to it. From a gentle shake, one that could very easily have been caused by the wind, it slowly escalated until the wardrobe seemed to barely touch the ground at all.

"Move!" Tidus shouted, trying to backpedal away from the thing as quickly as he could. Alas, just like Yuna's warning, it was too little, too late. As they were turning to flee, the wardrobe detonated, sending a wave of compressed air and flames slamming into each of the teens in turn. Three shouts of pain and a sea of flame later, both Rikku and Yuna had been knocked out, leaving a blind, mute, confused, and poisoned Tidus with hardly a leg to stand on.

Unfortunately, somehow, the malicious fixture had managed to retain an infuriating state of health, and decided to add insult to injury by stealing not only the strength sphere, but also most of the party's remaining gil. Desperately, Tidus groped for a potion to revive his fallen comrades, but the poison was too quick for him. As he too fell to the ground, the evil wardrobe sauntering away to find its next victim, the blitzer's only thought was that they hadn't saved since Mi'hen.

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End file.
